Panic!

Hello Internet, today is Friday, February 24th, and I …wait, hang on… I can’t… can’t breathe…

Whenever I look at the date I have a small panic attack.

What are the goals I set for myself in February? I wrote about them a few weeks ago, but let’s recap:

1) Write more novel. 50,000 words, or until the novel is done, whichever comes first.

2) Progress the play Give Me Back to a place where I could maybe actually produce it. Also, start trying for some money to make that happen.

3) Assistant Direct Jeff Elliot.

4) Subsist by working at existing jobs, and potentially find new jobs to help with that.

Ok, so let’s do this categorically.

TOTAL FAILURE

Isn’t “doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results” supposed to be one of main symptoms of insanity? Well, behold, ladies and gentlemen, a woman who tried to do something very similar to what she did in November 2011 – she tried to write 50,000 words of fiction in one month despite the fact that she had everything going on.

Two Novembers ago, I was in a play. I was running a theatre company. I had 2 other jobs besides. Writing 50,000 words of fiction was not something I was prepared to take on. I didn’t get very far before giving up entirely.

Last November, I totally succeeded at the 50,000 words thing. I still had 2 part-time day jobs. I was not, however, in a play or running a company. You see how this is.

Then, I decided to try to write 50,000 words again, but in a shorter month (by one day, but still!), during which I had the same two jobs, but also produced a 3-day workshop (which involved a ton of writing in its own right), had grant applications to work on (again with the writing), and applied to a bunch of jobs in the hopes that, someday, I will have a single, full-time job I actually enjoy. It did not work.

I have written about 12,000 words since February 1st. This isn’t nothing, but it also isn’t, say, 40,000, which is how many words I ought to have written to stay on top of my goal. That being said, I am still determined to finish at least the first draft of this novel. Maybe I will have more time in March… okay, late March… um…

RELATIVE SUCCESS

So, I’ve been working on this short film with some friends… primarily Ian Foster, who is the writer and director. The film is called Jeff Elliot, and it is about… um… about… musicians. And being one. And that weird thing that happens when artists die young.

Ok, so I have been the assistant director on it. And so far, nothing has gone horribly wrong and nobody has thrown anything at my head. So… WIN!

PARTIAL SUCCESS (and the thing that’s stressing me out!)

Give Me Back had a great workshop. It was great – and stressful, and time consuming, and emotionally draining – and great. Many good things came out of it, including a draft and a half of real progress, and big kick in the pants to get the thing up and running.

But, also, funding. Funding funding funding is stressful. Grant applications due the 1st and the 15th of next month, and then there’s the private sector. Eep!

ABSOLUTE SUCCESS

I subsist! And not only that, but I have obtained yet ANOTHER job. I am now (officially!) the Event Coordinator for the 2012 Atlantic Book Awards at the LSPU Hall the week of May 13-17. So, be prepared to read lots of things about that.

And that has been my February. Next time we talk, Internet, it will be March – and a whole new adventure!

(ps. March begins with the adventure of my very first time playing the guitar in a public place. You should come see that happen.)